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Archive for June 28th, 2012

Lindsay Lohan for Congress? Why we should vote for her

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The strikingly beautiful young woman — she will turn 26 years old on July 2 — approaches the podium with its waiting forest of microphones. Her hair, reddish blonde and flowing well below her shoulders, is caught briefly in a gust of wind as she walks to the front of the press corps on the granite steps of the state capitol. Eight fluted Corinthian columns line the portico behind her. She is, surprisingly, modestly and professionally dressed in a tasteful navy pants suit. For a moment, as she stands at the lectern, only the clicking of cameras is heard.

Good morning, everyone. My name is Lindsay Lohan, and today I am announcing my candidacy for the U.S. House of Representatives from my district.

Brief silence, followed by peals of laughter. Whispers of “Is this a movie promo?” drift through the throng. Lohan waits patiently, quietly, proudly for the laughter to subside.

Laugh if you wish, my fellow Americans. But I can win this race. I’m smarter than you know, and I can raise money. And if my opponent — opponents, actually; I’ll be running against the corporations funding my opponent through super PACs — wants to plaster my recent past into negative ads, I’ll bring up his and his pals’ dismal ethical performances in the House.
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Written by Dr. Denny Wilkins

June 28, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Posted in Uncategorized