Recent statements from morons

We’ve seen a number of times right now, people have been putting together investigations to see what sticks. They have had very little success so far. This is an administration that is very careful about obeying the law. [emphasis added]

— White House spokesman Tony Snow, responding to questions about apparent White House breaches of the Presidential Records Act in which 88 government officials improperly sent hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of emails through outside emails servers — e-mails that may have been illegally destroyed.

I consistently and voluntarily have made Justice Department officials available for interviews and hearings on this subject. I have taken these important steps to provide information for two critical reasons: (1) I have nothing to hide, and (2) I am committed to assuring the Congress and the American public that nothing improper occurred here. [emphasis added]

— Prepared statement of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales given May 10 to the House Committee on the Judiciary regarding the firing of eight United States attorneys.

Fewer people pay attention to it late on Friday. Fewer people pay attention when it’s reported on Saturday.

— Cathie Martin, former Cheney communications director, testifying in the perjury trial of former Cheney chief of staff I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby about the White House habit of releasing bad news on the weekend to, in effect, bury it.

I don’t know whose child that is, until it comes out and has a blood test.

— Comedian Eddie Murphy about whether he’s the father of Scary Spice’s (Melanie Brown) daughter, April, born April 3. The DNA verdict’s in, and the winner? Eddie Murphy.

[W]e’ve begun a two-year process to take a fresh look at ABC News from top to bottom. We’ve enlisted all of senior management and all of the executive producers and others who run our platforms in this effort. In everything we consider and everything we do, we will have three principal goals. First and foremost to maintain and enhance the reputation of ABC News for its unparalleled reporting. Second, to maintain and build wherever possible on the strengths of our broadcasts. And third, to re-design the division to reflect the growing importance of our digital offerings—and their centrality to our future. [emphasis added]

— ABC news division head David Westin in an e-mail to employees, announcing layoffs expected to eliminate 35 jobs.

The ‘Today’ show is in the fight of their lives. We’ve got to win.

— An anonymous NBC Universal executive on the ratings-driven decision to pay $1 million to about-to-be ex-con heiress Paris Hilton for an interview reportedly to be conducted by by “Today’s” Meredith Vieira.

We’ve also seen a softening of the Hawaii economy over the past eight months and we believe it is prudent to adjust our staffing as we have other expense elements to provide us the flexibility we need to operate our business successfully. [emphasis added]

— Honolulu Advertiser publisher Mike Fisch in a letter to employees offering buyouts to 86 workers and urging those over 55 years old and with up to 20 years’ service to consider them. The impact on the quality or quantity of the paper’s journalism was not mentioned.

xpost: Scholars & Rogues and 5th Estate

Advertisement